Stage Fright to LIMELIGHT: How I Beat Public Speaking Anxiety for Good
I beat Public Speaking Anxiety - So Can You.
Public speaking anxiety is one of the most common fears in the world—so common, in fact, that surveys consistently place it above a fear of heights, flying, and even death. I should know. For years, it held me hostage.
In this post, I’ll walk you through my journey from shaking wreck to confident communicator. If you’ve ever felt your heart pound at the thought of speaking up, you’re not alone—and I promise, it doesn’t have to stay that way. With the right mindset, strategies, and daily practices, you can learn not only to manage your anxiety, but to speak with clarity, confidence, and charisma.
A Moment That Changed Everything
I still remember the day my fear of public speaking came to a head. I was asked to deliver a short presentation at a staff meeting—something straightforward, even routine. But as I stood up, something inside me snapped. My hands trembled. My chest tightened. I became hyper-aware of every eye in the room. My mouth went dry, and for the life of me, I couldn’t remember my opening line.
I stumbled through the talk, barely able to look up from my notes. That feeling—of letting myself down, of being unable to perform something so seemingly simple—haunted me for months.
The Usual Advice That Didn’t Work
I went searching for answers. YouTube videos, books, online forums, articles—everyone had a trick or tip. But most of them were either too superficial or simply unrealistic in the moment of high anxiety. Here’s what I tried and abandoned:
“Imagine the audience naked” – Disorienting and completely unhelpful.
Rigid memorisation – Left me panicking when I forgot a single word.
Pretending not to be nervous – Only increased the pressure.
Telling myself to ‘calm down’ – A sure-fire way to feel even worse.
The problem with these strategies is that they deal with the symptoms, not the root cause. My breakthrough only came when I began treating my anxiety as something to work with, not something to fight against.
Understanding the Fear: A Biological Perspective
What finally made sense to me was understanding why I was so nervous. Our brains are wired for survival. In prehistoric times, standing alone in front of a group could literally mean danger—being cast out of the tribe. That ancient wiring still fires up when we step into the spotlight.
Public speaking anxiety, then, isn’t irrational. It’s misdirected. Our body is reacting to a threat that doesn’t exist. Once I understood this, I stopped blaming myself and started retraining my brain to feel safe while speaking.
The Turning Point: Building Safety and Confidence
Here’s what changed everything:
1. Desensitisation Through Exposure
Avoidance fuels fear. I committed to speaking regularly—even if it was just a question at a workshop or a 30-second comment in a meeting. The more I exposed myself to low-stakes speaking moments, the less threatening they became.
2. Shift from Perfection to Connection
I realised I wasn’t being judged on my eloquence—I was being valued for my sincerity. Audiences don’t expect perfection. They crave connection. Once I let go of needing to “perform,” my nerves softened.
3. Reframing Anxiety as Excitement
Research shows that telling yourself you’re excited, not nervous, activates a more positive mental state. Before a talk, I’d say aloud, “I’m excited to share this,” tricking my brain into reframing the energy.
4. Physical Anchors
I began using a grounding technique before speaking: planting both feet firmly on the ground, pressing my fingers together, and taking three deep breaths. This small ritual signalled to my brain that I was safe and ready.
Daily Habits That Strengthened My Voice
Changing how I felt about public speaking didn’t happen overnight. It took consistent, deliberate effort. Here are the daily practices that had the biggest impact:
1. Voice and Breath Training
Every morning, I’d spend five minutes warming up my voice—humming, stretching my pitch range, and practising controlled breathing. This helped me gain control over my vocal variety and reduced the tightness I often felt in my throat.
2. Speaking to a Mirror
I began practising short talks in the mirror. This helped me observe my facial expressions and gestures in a low-pressure environment, making me more aware of how I came across.
3. Journaling for Reflection
After each speaking opportunity, I’d write down three things that went well and one thing to improve. This simple habit helped me build confidence and focus on progress rather than perfection.
4. Micro-Practices Throughout the Day
Ordering coffee with clarity, introducing myself confidently, or making eye contact when speaking in meetings—all these moments became training opportunities.
Solving the Common Challenges One by One
Poor Audience Engagement?
The key lies in making your audience feel seen. Ask questions, refer to shared experiences, and react naturally to their responses. Treat your talk as a dialogue, not a monologue.
Lack of Vocal Variety?
Vary pace, pitch, and volume. Record your speech and listen back—are you speaking too fast? Too flat? Think of your voice as a musical instrument and learn to play it.
Ineffective Body Language?
Avoid pacing or folding your arms. Use purposeful gestures, open posture, and confident eye contact. If you’re unsure, record yourself or practise with a coach.
Weak Speech Structure?
Every strong talk has a backbone: a clear beginning, middle, and end. Start with a hook, deliver 2–3 key points, and finish with a memorable call to action.
From Anxiety to Empowerment
Today, I speak to rooms full of people with confidence and joy. Not because I’m fearless, but because I’ve trained myself to perform with the fear. Public speaking didn’t change for me—I changed my relationship with it.
And you can too.
Whether you’re a student facing presentations, a professional leading meetings, or an entrepreneur pitching ideas—speaking clearly and confidently can change your life. It opens doors, creates trust, and amplifies your impact.
Try This Today: Three Quick Wins
Record a 60-second video introducing yourself. Watch it back and notice your strengths.
Speak aloud while walking. It trains your breath and rhythm.
Before your next talk, say, “I’m excited,” not “I’m nervous.” Notice the difference in your body.
Your Next Step: Personalised Coaching That Makes a Real Difference
Overcoming public speaking anxiety is possible—but trying to do it alone can take years. With coaching, you accelerate that journey.
As a trained coach with years of experience helping speakers at all levels, I offer personalised, practical support tailored to your unique needs. Together, we’ll build your confidence, sharpen your delivery, and help you speak with authenticity and authority.
Whether you need to prepare for an important speech, overcome persistent nerves, or grow your presence as a leader, coaching gives you the tools and confidence to speak with impact.
Let’s talk. Book your free discovery call today and start your journey from stage fright to spotlight.
